Sunday, October 10, 2010

Need YOU.

I am on my way to bed, as I am dead tired, but I have something on my mind, and I need to share with you and ask for you to join with me in prayer.

I have two of the most beautiful ladies in my life, J and S, who are both dealing with infertility. They will both be amazing mothers and they both have amazing husbands, and I am so so so excited to see their families expand. But it's only through a miracle of God that this seems to be possible for them.

That is so strange for me. I get pregnant when Daddy G sneezes on me. (Ok, not really, go look at page 274 of your biology 10 textbook if you need a refresher.)
It just breaks my heart, and I heave cry, like the ugly cry, over the longing in these ladies hearts for just ONE of what I have been given many times over. It seems not fair to me. And I had to really come to God with my feelings of guilt over me being able to get knocked up so easily while they travail. Ugh, it tears me apart. But you know what He told me..He said to not feel guilty, but to feel thankful. And He said to pray. On my knees beside my bed, in my car, at the grocery store, while watching a movie, while on my computer, while riding a bike, while watching MY babies play and laugh and bring me so much joy, wherever I am, whatever I am doing, anytime I think of them, which is a lot, I can pray!! And I do, and I have been, and now I want YOU to join me!

So, tonight, again, it is heavy on my heart to pray. And to believe...that God is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think. (Eph 3:20).

J is in the midst of an IUI process right now as you read this. PRAY with me. BELIEVE with me. That a new little life will begin THIS WEEK!!

S has plans to try IUI again down the road, PRAY, and BELIEVE that she won't have to because the Lord will open her womb naturally before then.

Can not WAIT to share the GOOD NEWS of babies on the way with you very very soon!!!

Thank you friends!
Now I am REALLY going to bed.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Stream of Consciousness

I am 25 weeks pregnant this week.
With a baby boy.
Which I'm really really excited about.
I can't wait to meet him.
His name changes nearly every day.
Hopefully it won't change every other day after he's born.
Yesterday, after I assured a stranger that I was not actually due until January, his eyes bulged as he looked at my belly, and asked if it was twins. I lied. And said yes. Cause I wanted him to go away.


Queen S is in grade 1.
She is a very diligent student, her teacher says.
This doesn't surprise me.
A boy in her class asked ME if he could marry her.
This did surprise me.
Although it shouldn't have.
She's a catch.
And the boys already know it.
I may home school her. ;)


Princess B is in kindergarten.
Her teacher believes she's a genius.
That makes me smile.
B still talks about the "humans" as though she is not one.
That also makes me smile.
She woke up this morning and told me she was happy because her cough was gone.
Then she puked in the bathroom sink.
That does not make me smile.
Poor baby.


Prince L is 2 years, 3 months and 6 days.
He loves trains.
I hate the Thomas the Train TV show.
He's never seen it. So far.
He is such a little lover.
Much more affectionate than either of my girls were at this age.
I told him the other day as we were driving that I really like the moon in the day time.
He looked at me, knit his eyebrows together, and nodded like he sincerely cared, and said "OK."
He may actually think I am nuts.


Daddy G is a good Daddy.
He reads the girls Jesus stories before bed.
And they ask him really deep questions.
I like to listen in, when he doesn't know I'm there.
His answers are always better than mine would be.
He actually teaches me most of the time too.
I love this man.
He's a really good husband.
He rubs my back or my feet every night.
With lotion.
It is bliss.
I don't think he *loves* doing it.
But he does it anyways.
Because he know I do love it.
And that makes me adore him even more.


I guess that's mostly what's on my mind.
These lovely people who are mine.
Oh, that and I think I'll boycott dinner tonight, and just make Eggo waffles.


Monday, August 2, 2010

Heated Marble Floors

Some of you may have seen pictures on Facebook of our recent boat trip.
Seemed like a great day of fun, no? (Besides the crying baby...)

Well, it's time to confess...the crying baby was the LEAST of our issues that day!

We have a FABULOUS babysitter. Lexie. My girls ADORE her and want to be JUST LIKE HER when they grow up, which btw, I am totally ok with, because she is a total gem! On Saturday, it was her 14th birthday, so our two families decided to take our awesome boat...fine...THEIR awesome boat...out on one of the many lakes around our area to celebrate with sun, fun, and bbq food on a private beach. GREAT idea, right?

There were two lakes we were debating between, and decided on Lake A over Lake B because, "being a long weekend and all, Lake A will probably be less busy." After an hour of driving, (and listening to enough "Mommy, I'm hungry"'s to make you want to stuff an entire burger bun in your kids mouth just to keep them quiet) we were getting close to the gates of the park...when we began to notice both sides of the road lined up with parked cars and trucks and empty boat trailers. For miles. Parked cars. M-I-L-E-S. Once we reached the boat launch, Daddy G and Lexie's dad dropped us off to hurry up and wait in the boat as they went to the back of the car line up to park...and then walk back to us. Another hour, and almost an empty hamburger bun bag later, the men returned already looking a bit frazzled, and our FUN trip hadn't even begun yet!

After all our lifejackets were on and everyone was situated in their seats, both of my girls decided that was the perfect time to announce that their bladders were going to burst. Being the good mother I am, I told them they could hold it...for an hour...over rocky, bumpy waves...ok...that's not going to happen. I inwardly sighed, (read: tore my clothes, poured ashes over my head and wailed uncontrollably), smiled understandably (read: glared at Daddy G, begging him with my eyes to do the portapotty duty), and undressed the 14 layers off the girls (did I mention there was NO sign of sunshine on this JULY 31, and I actually brought along our winter parkas...just in case we ran into a snow storm out there, which felt like a real possibility at this moment) to take them back out of the boat, up the hill to empty themselves in a glorified, yet still reak ridden, hole in the ground.

Upon return, nearly 2.5 hours after the time we had PLANNED to set sail...Lexi's dad turned the key to crank up our kickin ride. Time to get this party started!! Chick chick chick....again....chick chick chick....nothing. No motor sound. No roaring engine. Dead. The battery of the boat...dead. Really? Ok, at this rate, let's just toss the kids in the lake...they all have life jackets after all, and lets just float over to the private beach that glows with the promise of vacation relaxation, complete with beach boys bringing us all virgin pina coladas at beckoned call. Lexie, always the optimist, said, "It's ok dad...we have another battery in the truck." Have we forgotten that the men needed to run a near half marathon to GET to the truck? My kids were still saying they were hungry, since it was past lunch time now, and I thought that the smoke piling out of Lexie's dad's ears could have at least served a purpose to heat up the hot dogs.

Lucky for us, the boat behind us in line to get out on the lake had jumper cables and was so kind to jump our battery. After 3 tries, Benton the boat roared to life, and we were FINALLY on our way...I could hear Shania Twain singing somewhere off in the yonder...oh oh only goes up from here... I mean, it HAD to get better now right? A few minor obstacles, but now the vacation begins!

Blood-curdling SCREAMING. That's what filled my ears for the next 30 minute boat ride. It was very windy and the waves were very choppy and my 2 year old was very very loud! He HATED being tied into his lifejacket. He HATED being on the boat. He HATED the water splash his face. He HATED the wind whip his eyes. I was holding him so tight, b/c I was sure at any moment he was just going to decide he had had enough and toss himself overboard.

Just as his face was turning a nice shade of purple and his vocal chords were becoming hoarser by the second, we saw the first glimpse of the beach. There were several inlets to chose from, so naturally, we picked the one with the fewest boats anchored. And unbeknownst to us, possibly the worst place in the whole lake to try to dock a boat. Lexie's mom, Tina and I and all of my babes, all swam on to the beach...ok, who am I kidding, I am a girlie girl, and a total wimp...yes, I got Daddy G to piggy back us all, so that no part of my body would have to touch that freezing cold water. He's my hero. For real. Because after we were on the beach, we watched him dive down to the bottom of the lake over and over, with the boat anchor, trying desperately to find a lone rock in the sand to secure the boat. After an hour and a half of this, Lexi's dad thought we should try a spot further down. As he backed the boat up, he passed another "parked" boat, and the owner, who was on the beach and watching our whole anchoring fiasco, started FREAKING out that we were going to "cut his line" that anchored him to the bottom. Our boat wasn't even close. He started yelling obscene profanities at Lexie's dad and I could already see the upcoming bloody boxing match between these two once he finally made it onto land. We weren't making friends.

It was about this time that I needed a break, and really, I needed to pee. Have I mentioned I am a girlie girl? I don't camp. Unless it's in a fully equipped RV, complete with running water, a kitchen, a hot tub, cable TV, heated marble floors, and of course a toilet. Then...maybe. But there were no RV's around. And no toilets. So I enlisted my girls to hold up a towel in front of me, as my cover, while I attempted at least 7 different squat positions. Finally, just as I thought I may have found a winner, Bree got tired of her duty, dropped her end of the towel, and the whole lake and anyone on it, got nice view of a pregnant , half naked woman peeing all over her yoga pants.

The men had now successfully anchored the boat to a rock and a tree, praying that it wouldn't suddenly drift away, and were lugging the bbq gear over to where we were. FOOD! Finally. A good 4 hours "late", but none the less, we were going to eat! We slapped those hamburger patties and hotdogs onto the bbq, closed the lid, and drooled as we anxiously awaited our nostrils being filled with the smells of the promise of tastebud heaven. We waited. And then waited some more. Oh, and then after that...we waited. Finally, we lifted the lid to see 10 very raw dogs and burgers. The bbq wasn't working. Ok. Improv. How bad was it REALLY to eat raw patties? Like come on. All that salmonella stuff...does that REALLY happen? Come on up! YUM!

K, maybe not.

After tampering with levers and buttons, the bbq suddenly decided to work, and now nearly 5 hours after lunch time, we had the BEST hot dogs and burgers known to mankind.

Seeing as though it was now dinner time, we had to head back. So our relaxing beach day, ended up being about 45 minutes on a rocky terrain, being whipped by the wind as we picked the sand out of our teeth. Happy Birthday Lexie!

We did end up tubing on the way back, which was A LOT of fun...for the kids...MY heart was about to jump out of my chest at every wave they crossed.

Last, but not least, would a long weekend/birthday boat ride be complete, without returning to your vehicle to find it had been broken into, your locks had been completely wrecked and your ipod, cash and various small item ripped off?? Yeah. Good times. That was Lexie's dad's truck. The smoke again, from his ears, could have easily cooked a better hamburger than that bbq any day.

Next time they may just want to leave the boat behind, and join us in our heated marble floor RV.



Friday, July 9, 2010

Inside the minds..

Kids have this fabulous sense of, well, I guess wonder is the word.

Today, someone dropped off a bag of hand-me-downs for my girls. Now, this bag was not the kind that included skid marked undies, tomato soup stained onsies and hole ridden flood pants. This was the Osh Kosh/Carters/Children'sPlace/Gap bag of hand me downs. So needless to say, some super cute stuff.

Although I DO live in the freezing cold north, apparently my country DID get the summer memo (albeit MUCH later than we were hoping), and it has been GLORIOUSLY in the mid 30's...oh...for you Yankees, that's like 200 F...oh, maybe, hold says that's 95ish. So, hot. And lovely. And hot. And I LOVE it. Moving on.

Much of the new duds in the clothing bag will be PERFECT for my the winter. Sweaters and ponchos, heavy pants and jackets. This is where the "wonder" sets in. Who the heck cares that it's 'fry an egg on the sidewalk' hot clothes MUST be worn. So I am, in as little clothing as I can get away with, watching my children play in the backyard, by the pool, in a winter jacket and a wool poncho. I asked several times if they were hot, and both replied with a resounding NO, and I was even informed that it's actually quite cold and windy out. (As my popsicle melts the second the freezer door opens.)



Speaking of you ever wonder HOW a child can watch the SAME movie or episode of a show a MILLION times and still laugh at the same places and still find it so entertaining, and still have their eyebrows raised in anticipation as they wonder what...oh WHAT will happen next? Like seriously? Lightning McQueen gets Sally the Porsche and they live happily ever KNOW that don't you?! Did you miss that little fact the last billion times you watch it? Oh...NOT that my children watch shows a billion times** Ahem** For, naturally, as the receiver of multiple "Mommy-of-the-year" awards, I am fully aware to only let my child watch an hour a week...oh, what? ...a month, I mean. Yes, of course, an hour a month. Don't want their brains to go to mush or their eyeballs to go crossed or their Mommy to get any laundry done...I digress.

What else amazes me is how my 2 year old BOY (I must add that in here because my girls NEVER did this) , could find hours of pleasure in following around random critters on our cement patio in the back. I mean on hands and knees, scraping the baby soft skin right off his precious little shins, with his eyes as big as saucers as he doesn't let them out of his sight. Well, until they crawl into the line of Juniper trees. Then he scowls, sits there wearing an utter look of defeat, and in his best Swiper the Fox voice, says, "Aww Maaaan!" I guess he had about had it the other day when a tiny little unsuspecting ant he was stalking was just about to disappear into the juniper jungle, and instead of letting him go his merry way, he immediately placed his pointer finger right on top of it. He lifted his finger to his face to peer at his prize, and as the little ants legs all squirmed in a futile protest, something came over my little man, and he popped that treasure right into his little mouth. Seeming completely proud of himself, he glanced over his shoulder, looked at me and gave me his best toothy grin. I was far enough away, that I could not tell if that grin included little black legs in between his teeth. Ew. I shudder even now. I am such a girlie girl. Like honestly, what in BLUE BLAZES would make anyone want to put something moving and creepy in their mouth. It is far beyond me.

Children, creatures of wonder. Sometimes it makes you grimace and gag, and other times, it's a great lesson to maybe, yourself, find a little wonder in the everyday world we've become so accustomed to. I don't recommend eating bugs though. Even on Fear Factor. ESPECIALLY on Fear Factor.


Monday, July 5, 2010


5 months it's been.

I'm so sure your lives have been so depressing without my insanely wise ramblings. I apologize for your increased counseling bills, the higher than normal chocolate consumption, and any wild and irrational neon hair colors that have resulted from my absence. (Ahem, Julie.)

What better day to come back to the bloggisphere than a NOT ME MONDAY ?
So for your Momma Bex update, I give you 5 months of NMM's that have been piled under my TOTALLY clean carpet...

1) We do not live in the freezing cold north. We do not throw massive parties when the mercury rises above O. And we certainly would not throw our children outside to swim just to get some peace and quiet inside the house...especially if they still needed a cheetah fur coat on to fill the pool...

2) My "baby" is not a total piro, and did not knock over a candle on our dinning room table, only to singe off Queen S's most favorite doll's hair. And he is such a sensitive boy, he definitely did not laugh hysterically at the sight of her prized possession aflame.

3) This is Princess B. Remember her? She's super sweet and caring and gentle and actually quite shy. So there's no way that only seconds after this shot was taken at a local park, she let out a scream that would put any horror film star to shame, and then grabbed this poor unsuspecting boy's ear, stared him down with fury in her eyes and breathed in his face the words, "My wheel. Don't ever touch again."
Never! NOT my kid. Nope.

And now a few point form NMM updates:

My Queen S is not growing up way too fast and certainly did not graduate kindergarten last week. I do not officially have a grade one-er. Sigh.

It appears that Queen S will be the only school aged girl in our family as Princess B will not be going into kindergarten this September. There's no way that she's already that age.

I am NOT old enough to be mother to TWO school aged babes!! I will NOT be turning 30 in less than 3 weeks. I will always be 18. Forever.

My precious baby boy is still a baby. He did not have his 2nd birthday last week, and he is not amazing me every day at how much he has changed and learned in his first 2 years. Not that he IS two. Just saying, uh, if he WAS 2, he'd sure have learned a lot. Yeah.

And lastly,

this is not me.

At 12 weeks pregnant.

With baby #4.

Because we are, ahem, were , done at 3.


Friday, February 5, 2010

My sunshine

I like to think of this blog as kind of a journal. (Uh, one that the whole world is privy to.) I want to be able to look back when I've lost my mind (which could be next week at the rate things are going), and remember the little moments, and the big moments which when all melded together, created my life. (The guy in charge of the slide show at my funeral should have it pretty easy. Just stick this on the screen, and you'll pretty much get the jist.) So, in lieu of sharing moments, it just so happens, today is the anniversary of a very special moment indeed. Let me rewind waaaaaay back into the past, where all things were in black and white and men were always in suits...yes, 6 long years ago. It all began when...(insert austin powers type multi-color tye-dyed spinning swirl here)

**Jan.31, 2004**

Well, here we are. The day we've been counting down to. And it's going to come...and go. I have a feeling baby wants to stay in the tropics a bit longer- which I'd say is pretty smart since we just got 2 feet of snow dumped on us! Although I don't think baby will join us today, there still seems to be something magical about the due date. It still feels a bit like Christmas. Is that strange? Hmm. I am JUST beginning to get better from a 2 week stint of laryngitis & strep throat. I have a little bit of a voice today...finally. It's been SO frustrating! I want to be ALL better when I deliver. Only thing now is I think I made King G sick. Ooops. :( Anyways, baby, I can still feel your feet up in my ribs, and I am SO excited to finally touch them and kiss you. Come and join us! I can't wait any longer! Mommy and Daddy love you SO much!! xoxo

**Feb 3**

...and I wait. wheezing in between the odd clear breath I can get. The mountains outside my window actually look warm, like they are wearing a white velvet blanket, in all that snow. The repetitious sound of our washer and dryer hums a rather soothing note to my soul. The softness of our "right out of the dryer" bedsheets and the fresh smell of fabric softener brings me back to being a well cared for child. Makes me want to stay in bed all afternoon. And then, of course, there's you. My precious miracle who constantly reminds me that you are completely out of room in there, with your not so gentle kicks and squirms. The question of "is today the day"? has long lost it's wonder. As the clock ticks and each second brings you closer to me, it may as well be an eternity today. So, I wait. For 2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks, who knows? And what does it matter? Soon you will be in my arms, and we will begin to experience a love that is far different than all we've known up till now. I will be a mother...your mother.

**Feb 5**

12 Noon:
I AM GETTING CONTRACTIONS!! My back is SO achy. Is this it? The real deal?Oh please Lord, let this be it!! Time to start timing these, see what we are looking at here! **Lord God, be with me. Give me Your strength. Please please keep baby safe and healthy. Give me, G, doctors, nurses, Jen and Mom wisdom, and may the final stage of this journey be a testimony of your amazing mercy, love and peace to all involved. WELCOME TO THE WORLD PRECIOUS!!**

(Oooo, I wonder I wonder...are you blue or pink????) :):)

**Feb 6**

(My amazing friend Jen (who has been with me in every delivery) writes from here on...I was a little busy. ;))
(warning: the following is a birth story, and if you are a man, you may be disgusted and possibly hurl if you continue on, and if you are a pregnant or hormonal in any way woman, you may bawl your eyeballs out. Please prepare right now accordingly.)

Jen & mom arrived at the hospital around 8am. You have been laboring since noon yesterday and are 2-3 cm dilated. You still look strong and confident. Contractions are every 5 minutes. You just spent 45 mins in the shower and I told you stories (at your request). :) G and mom went to the cafeteria for some breakfast. You are doing amazing! G is now awake and ready to go! Haha. You two are hugging right now...awwww. :) It's just about 10 and you are going to walk around for a bit. In the last 15 mins you have had 4 contractions. You keep saying they are in your bum. :P They are much stronger now and Carol (nurse) just came to put the monitor on to check the heartbeat, she will check how dilated you are shortly.

You just threw up during a contraction. They are suddenly getting really intense. The nurse is coming to examine you. UGH! It's 11 and you are still only 3 cm and contractions seem very painful right now. Nurse is calling Doc. M to ask about giving you some drugs. He said yep! She just gave you some gravol and fentanyl ...they are kicking in ...ahhhhh, better. :)

12 noon and you had a nice little rest and the fentanyl was a GOOD thing. :P

Doc.M will come after lunch to break your water. They have put a drip on to induce your labor - oooooo- the contractions are back and intense. 3-4 mins apart. You got sick again, cause they are so strong. But you are now sitting on a lazy boy chair with a cold cloth on your head.

My guess for when baby comes is 4:19. Daddy G says 2:55. Gramma thinks 5:30. Tick tock, waiting to seee-eeee!!

12:55 and G and I just came back from eating and are hearing the nurses talking about an epidural.

Lord, we pray that you would bring peace and that you would cause the baby and Becky's body to do what it needs to do.

The nurse will examine you at 1:30ish and hopefully you will have dilated. LORD PLEASE!!

It's 2pm and you are in the shower. G is with you. Doc.M is on his way to assess things. Hoping baby is in the right position so we can get this party ON!!

Oh baby...hurry...mama is looking so tired.

Doc.M broke your water at 2:20. "Coolest feeling EVER" so you said. :P haha. Contractions were strong and consistent now. YOU ARE 7-8 CM NOW!!! WOOO HOOOO!

3PM, and you are exhausted. It's been 27 hrs of labor so far. So you said YES to an epi. And it's in...ahhhhhhhh....feeeeeels gooooood.

It's now 3:25 and baby will be here very soon. You have a BIG smile on your face and are singing along to a Christina Aguilera song. Haha. Daddy G and Doc.M are talking MAC COMPUTERS!! HA!!!

Gramma predicts its a boy. Doc.M and I are thinking girl. Daddy G is leaning towards girl, and you are SURE it's a boy...but really have no clue.

5:20 and the epi is wearing down, you are feeling a lot of pain again. Dr. Coz (the epi man) can't come yet...OH!!! You are FULLY DILATED nurse just said!! YAY!!! BECKY YOU ARE DOING IT!!! I am so proud of you!!

You are pushing!


(Oh, and your mom got her peanuts) <-----I STILL have no idea what that was about. :P

7:10, you look SO tired, but you are doing well.

You are pushing!



Born 7:46pm
Feb 6, 2004
8 lbs, 3 oz
19 inches



(If you remember Baby L's birth story...yes, this one was a weeeeee bit different. ;))

**Feb 7 am** (the new mommy writing again)

Welcome to the world Queen S! :D
You are SO beautiful! You were born with copper hair!! I can't believe that! I LOVE IT!! There were TEN babies born here last night!! Nurses blame it on the full moon. Riiiiiight. So, needless to say, the maternity ward was loud with crying all night...but not from you. :) You are quiet and peaceful. One nurse told me that out of all 10 babies, you are the only one who picked up breast feeding right away! You smart girl you! You are so amazing. I am absolutely overwhelmed with the love I have for you!

Thank you Jesus for this precious gift. Thank you for choosing ME as her Mother. Guide me and G as we raise her to be the woman that you have designed her to be. Bless her in all that she does, in her comings and goings, be right beside her. Place in her heart a hunger for You, to know you, to honor you, to love you! I feel speechless, like words can not grasp the intensity of this precious gift You have entrusted us with. Thank you God, for her life, for every breath she takes. She's been breathing for less that 12 hours and I already feel like I have been blessed beyond measure. You are a good God. All the time. All the time.


It has been SUCH a joy being your momma and watching you grow and learn and love life the way you do over these past 6 years. You are such a shining star! You have a gift of gentleness, just like that first day you were here. You are kind, and thoughtful and sensitive to others. You make me so so proud. Such a big helper, and such an amazing little friend I have in you. I love having our date nights and talking about heaven, and how reindeer fly, and how to say words in french. You are my sunshine...when skies are gray...
I love you truly, madly, deeply.
Have a wonderful day today princess.
Butterfly, Bear, Fish and sloppy kisses,


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Timing Is Everthing

Cindy* climbed onto the huge 747 plane with blueprint plans in her head and giddy expectation in her heart. The time had come to finish building the school she had designed for the children of an impoverished country,who had stolen her heart 3 years prior. Had she packed all she needed? Toothbrush! Did she forget her toothbrush? Surrounding her were many other passengers eagerly awaiting take-off, and contemplating their own questions. There was the large man in 17B, wearing the blue striped button down dress shirt, who was listening to Enya on his ipod, trying to calm himself, as flying was not on his top 10 favorite things to do list. There was the young couple in 22E&F, who were holding hands, despite their sweaty palms, chattering non-stop about how exciting it was to finally, after so long, be on the plane that would take them to meet their first adopted child. In row 5, seat A, sat a woman who had just lost her husband to a long and tiring fight with lupus, and was now hoping to get some peace as she flew back to their homeland to bury his remains there.

The flight attendants rehearsed their safety spiel for what was probably the one billionth time, and then they were off. It was a 6 hour flight, and besides the orange juice that spilled in 27C's lap, it was a relatively uneventful one.

Upon landing, Cindy stood in line as the passengers were anxiously watching for the grand door of the plane to open and release them. This next chapter of their lives was calling, which at this point, unbenownst to anyone, was one that very much tied them all together. When Cindy reached the opening of the plane, she was slammed with the powerful heat and smells and sounds of a world much different that what she had been used to. She walked down the extended metal stairs, right on to the tarmac, and smiled as the Caribbean style bongo and xylophone band welcomed her to their country.

Once inside the overcrowded, dimly lit airport, she clung to her passport as the passengers were herded like cattle through 5 different customs gates. Some made it through within seconds, receiving their stamps of approval. While others were being questioned and scrutinized for what seemed like forever in the thick muggy heat. Cindy was praying that she would be part of the first group, and be whisked through, so that she could make it for her 5pm check in at the prestigious hotel that was awaiting her. All she could think of was laying her tired body on a nice soft bed in a room that was blissfully air conditioned! Once the man ahead of her was through, she pulled out her best smile and semi-confidently strode up to the gate. A small dark man with a bald head and large beady eyes snatched her passport with a huff, flipped through in a rush, then suddenly stopped. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the stamps on page 12. He slowly looked up at her, his eyes, little judgmental slits, and commanded her directly into a holding room.

UGH! Cindy was completely baffled and totally disgruntled. How unnecessary! How annoying! What on earth could she have been sent in here for? She was a stand up citizen! The very worst thing she'd done in her life was when she stole a pack of cough drops from the local corner store when she was 9. Oh, and her mother made sure of it that she'd never do that again!

After an hour of waiting and contemplating and sweating, a customs guard poked his head in to the tiny holding room, nodded once, said that she's free to go, and slammed the door behind him. No questions. No prodding. No interrogation. Annoyed, she picked up her luggage, which had been tossed off the carousel on to the cement floor, since most everyone else from her flight had already left. In fact, she was 1 of the last 5 passengers from her flight that got on the airport shuttle bus that was to take them to the promise of a cool room in a quiet spacious hotel.

She lay her head back on the tall vinyl bus seat, and tried to relax as they bumped through the pot holed gravel road. There really should be seat belts on here, she thought. The bus had only been plodding along for less that 5 minutes when it happened. It reminded her of a ride at Disneyland where the vehicle shakes violently with you inside it, trying to invoke thrill and fear all at once. Only this time, it was no ride, and as the cinder block houses on either side of the road began to crumble and fall into the street, the fear was very real. The deafening slams of concrete, the crashes of metal vehicles, the shrill screams of people, so so many people, was soon all that was echoing though the debris filled air.
As stories began to come out over the next couple of days of death tolls and damage quotes, Cindy sat shocked and even humbled as she stared at the front of a newspaper. On it was a picture of the decimated ruins of the hotel she had had a 5pm check in time at. Many of the passengers she flew with on that American Airlines flight, who did not get held up at customs, were checking in right at the time that all hell broke loose. Many were now buried under tons of concrete rubble. And she, she had been detained. For no apparent reason. Held back. Saved. What seemed like an utter inconvenience, was now the sole contributor of her having breath in this very moment. How humbling. How coincidental? How divine.

**This is my fictional version of a real event I read about in the paper this week. Cindy* is a lady from my area who was in Haiti, at the time of the earthquake. She was spared, when many others were not. May this be a reminder to you. The next time you can't find your car keys...the next time the train fully stops when you are parked at the railway crossing...the next time your spouse is 2 hours late to pick you up...just think, maybe, just maybe it's all part of a divine plan, one that may even include sparing your life.**